Empowerment through Knowledge and Action

When you’re ready to file for divorce, you’re probably beyond ready to get out of the marriage! With the easy access to online resources, handling your own divorce can seem like the quickest and cheapest way to go. However, it is risky to handle on your own. Each couples’ situation is unique, and it’s impossible for a form to handle all of the potential issues. Although a DIY divorce is cheaper up front, it may end up costing you more in the long run. Here are some pitfalls of a DIY divorce:  You and your spouse may have figured out how to divide everything, but there are usually logistics and details that you haven’t worked out yet. For example, if you agree to sell the house and divide the profits, how will you choose a realtor? What about a sale price? And who pays for the regular bills and maintenance while the home is still on the market? All of these things could cause big arguments that may been avoided if you had a lawyer. Once you sign a divorce agreement, you can’t go back and change it. Sure, some things like parenting time and child support can change, but only if you successfully show that circumstances have changed since you signed the agreement. Otherwise, you are bound by your agreement. Also, except for rare cases like fraud, you usually cannot set aside the monetary terms of a divorce agreement. As the saying goes, you don’t know what you don’t know. Each divorce is unique and requires a tailored approach. It’s important to have certain language in your divorce decree to protect you. For example, most forms you find online won’t prompt you to include a deadline by which your spouse needs to refinance the house. Without a deadline, it’s much more difficult to enforce follow-through, which can end up hurting you financially. You may not be getting what you’re entitled to. It’s important to take a bird’s eye view and look at your finances as a whole. At first, it seems fair for each of you to keep your own cars, your own retirement accounts, and split the house proceeds in half. However, if you added everything up and then divided it, you may be accepting less than half of the marital property. You may be forgetting parenting time details that will cause you headaches in the future. Again, it’s tempting to believe that the little things will all work themselves out, especially if you and your spouse remain friends. As time goes on, you will both go through life changes. For example, if one of you starts dating a new partner, changes jobs or has more children, this likely will affect how you will co-parent your children. It will save you a lot of heartache, time, and money in the long run if you figure out these tough things now. There’s more paperwork than just the divorce decree. After a divorce is granted, couples often need to transfer titles to property and refinance loans to remove one of the spouse’s names. It’s not always easy to understand how to do all of this and comply with the terms of the divorce agreement. Also, you could end up costing yourselves a lot of money if you handle certain things incorrectly. For example, many retirement accounts require a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order) to divide the account without significant tax penalties. If you are considering filing for divorce, please contact our office to schedule a complimentary consultation. We are happy to discuss your options with you.

I’m often asked this question by those considering a divorce. The divorce process can be daunting and stressful, but it helps to know what to expect. I recommend doing these things to prepare and help the divorce process go more smoothly: Identify your “team”, those friends and family you can lean on for support during the process. Figure out your short-term priorities and goals. For example, who stays in the house, who pays the bills, and where do the kids live while the divorce is pending? Make a list of all property, accounts, and debts owned and owed by you and your spouse. This includes everything regardless of when it was acquired and whose name is on it. Gather all legal documents, financial statements and documents proving the value of assets and the amount of debts. Determine your long-term priorities and goals. In other words, what does life look like after divorce, both in terms of finances and family? If you’re ready to take that step, don’t hesitate to contact us to schedule a consultation.

What are your memories of your grandparents? Most of us treasure the time we’ve spent with our grandparents, and they’ve often played a big role in who we have become as adults. I will always remember baking cookies, playing softball, and taking nature walks with my grandparents. As a grandparent, you can ask the Court for visitation with your grandchildren in certain circumstances. To petition for grandparent visitation, you must fall into one of these categories: (1) the parents of the child are divorced, (2) the child was born out of wedlock and paternity was established, (3) or one of the child’s parents has passed away. In short, grandparents can’t file a petition if the child’s parents are still married to each other. Parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit, and the Courts respect that. To be awarded grandparent visitation, you must prove that not only is it in the best interests of the child for you to have visitation, but also that visitation is more important for the child than the parent’s right to control who sees their kids. It also matters whether your contact with your grandchildren has been partially or completely cut off. This is a high standard –there’s a strong presumption that the parents know best and are acting in the child’s best interests. If a grandparent petitions the court for visitation, the Court will want to know why the parents are denying contact. Sometimes it’s due to a legitimate concern for the child’s best interests, but other times it has nothing to do with the grandchildren. For example, a parent may cut off visits with the grandchildren as a way to get back at the grandparents for an unresolved dispute. One of the most important things to bring to the Court’s attention is how much you’ve been involved in your grandchild’s life before you filed for visitation. There are also several other factors you should consider before seeking visitation, so it is important to discuss your individual circumstances with an experienced attorney. If you are a grandparent and are interested in filing for grandparent visitation, please contact my office to schedule a complimentary consultation.